Reader matter:

I met men online who life 500 miles away. He’s 34 and I’m 53. The guy performed let me know he’d a female the guy dated “locally” which he was only on the site wanting buddies. 3 months later we discovered we emotions per some other.

Meanwhile, he however suggests he is having issues together with girl, who isn’t someone he is “dating” in your area. He’s managing the girl in addition they’ve already been with each other for four decades.

At long last made the decision we’d to meet to see if this is really worth following. He gave me the main reason he don’t consider it was right to do it while he was still along with her. At long last gave him an ultimatum and informed him i really couldn’t perform next fiddle. He professed their really love but said he was really confused.

Carry out we give him ultimatum, it is the girl or me? Have always been I wrong to ask him in order to make that choice?

-Nancy (Florida)

Dr Wendy Walsh’s Response:

Oh Nancy, Nancy, Nancy! You had written in my opinion for honesty, correct? Well, will you be relaxing? Because right here will come a honey cooking pot of fact.

You might be surviving in fantasy secure, my dear woman. You’ve not also found this person exactly who may be a man and which might or might not have a girlfriend.

We very suggest you can see the documentary “Catfish” (available on iTunes and Netflix) about an online really love fraud.

But even although you cannot accomplish that, let’s assume for a moment he’s in fact which he says they are and disregard the fact he began composing for your requirements by sleeping about his commitment position.

Let’s merely check out the alleged basic facts.

A.) He’s almost 2 decades younger than you.

B.) He is in a critical commitment.

C.) He told you right from the start he is just looking to end up being buddies.

Thus I ask you, exactly why can you exposure the heart on these a poor bet?

The question shouldn’t be about offering him an ultimatum, but alternatively, in case you give yourself the love you are entitled to?

If yes, after that it is not the horse you should ride inside sundown with. Run, girl!

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